Here for Now

Everything is just a big disappointment!!!

MY name is Leslie and I need to be stronger. Fuck ya’ll.

I forgave punk dad. We’re besties.

Its funny looking back at that post. He was a total ass but he’s apologized and I now talk to him incessantly.

Une bonne matin, j’ai recontré une femme! (came to mind)

Punk dad totally sucks. I hope he just leaves me the fuck alone. I’m an idiot for hanging out with him and texting him and liking him after I knew he was kinda a jerk but god damn’t he’s immature, and a total ass. God.

hey, fuck you Pat.

I really hate seeing Pat. It makes me angry and feel shitty.

but I really like these lyrics…

you’re a lover in my bed

and a gun to my head

I’m trying really hard to keep calm, I’m trying really hard to not think about hating Pat, to not get caught up in negative thoughts. Its really hard. I want to feel different than I do. I’m also trying to keep calm about my feelings towards crushes or whatever. I get worked up.

I am trying to be less anxious, but what that really means is I am sleeping more.

Seeing Pat makes me feel bad about myself no matter what the situation. Also, every romantic thing I’ve endeavored in the past few months has ended weirdly with me, again, feeling badly about myself. I should just step back and try to like myself myself but I never want to do that really.

There’s only one person that I’ve hung out with in the last few months that I kinda wanted things to work out with and sometimes it makes me sad still, ugh.